the reward of a long life~going nuts

My mother is in the beginning stages of alzheimers. I think she is way past stage one and her marbles are quickly slipping through the hour glass of sanity, to who am I? Where am I? Who are you?
I want my mother back. The one that knew how to cook, how to take showers and be clean, the one that created, and kept a spotless house.
The stress of helping her is a challenge. Taking her places wipes out my spark. After I leave her, it takes along time to relight my wick. I need sleep and that is what I am off to do. Two kittens now share my room. There is nothing more luscious than soft purring balls of love to calm a shook up soul. (anyone with fingernail on the chalkboard nerves needs a kitten )

Sadly, Mom realizes she is loony...to a degree. She hates being the way she is and often says It is hell to get old.
I have friends her age and they are of sharp mind and functioning normally. Why? What causes this horrible diease to creep into peoples minds and destroy them?

A man !? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I have found that my kittens poo smell like cheese whiz..only the kind that has sat around
in a vault for maybe 100 years with mold and crap on it. These guys love to shat. They
love to dig. They are totally adorable except for the elimation of turds. Since they are sharing
my bathroom , which connects to my bedroom, my eyes have been watering frequently.
I realize more and more , there will never be another man in my life. And honestly why
would I want one. Maybe to drive me to Barnes and Noble at night. (I freak at night
driving) I can't SEE. ) But I don't want to worry about kitty shit smell if a man is
in my bed.....

There was a time I wanted someone in my life so badly. I wanted someone to SAVE me from
my sad pathetic horrible sucky marriage. I later wanted just someone to adore me. I later
wanted someone to just hang out with. What I found , is most men my age cannot get it
up and have titties bigger than mine. I found that they can be controlling and they drive
too fast. Honestly , who needs that shit?

I live quietly, except for my asshole dogs barking, in a peaceful home. My messes are mine.
The hair in the tub is mine. The hair around the toilet is mine. The goobers in the sink
are mine. The milk is never run out unless I DID IT. The wet towels on the floor are from
me. I don't want a man. No way no how.

I am at an age where I have burned out from shaving and plucking and slathering on
moisterizer. I will walk alone happily, with my hairy legs and bushy eyebrows.

Oh how wonderful to break wind and burp and be myself.

The Pee Zone

In the wee hours of the night there seems to be alot of peeing going on. I get up..... dogs need out...dogs need in. Olivia the cat comes in. Of course, her Highness, cannot pee outside and goes
to her litterbox. Other kitty remains outside hunting. Dogs are now sleeping. Livers is curled up taking in the night.
I want to get back to this amazing dream I was having. It doesn't seem to happen after being up.
I wonder where the people go that were in my dream? Did they move over to the next plane? Another Twilight Zone ? Where is Rod when I need him?

later that day~~aka plot thickens

I am doing a blog bc I want to get moving on writing. An incentive.
4 people this past week said WRITE. They think I am funny.
Little do they know. I have my dark and creepy side. But I
am divorcing him soon........He is a good man. He totally sucked
at being a husband, though. He was too tight to buy my manuel.
He only wanted the cows and the 15 acres of land.

Should we all come with our own personal manuals? I need to go
post this on my fav message board and ask.

what I have learned in 3 hours~~

Reading emails from friends~they group them~they chew them up and spit them out as they continue to hit forward to all , dissecting each.

This morning is was about a lady being raped walking on RT..220. Next mass email was, don't use Pyrex. You
can get sick. I will not walk on 220 today or eat out of Pyrex. Life is cozy.